9.11.2008

The grass is always greener...

I have the "grass is always greener on the other side" syndrome. For all my life I've been saying, "I'll really be happy and have the great life when I'm in high school," then a couple years later, "I'll be happy when I can finally drive," then,"I'll be happy when I'm in college and on my own," and then, "I'll be happy when I'm married and done with school," and now, "I'll finally be happy when I have my own cute little kids and I get to stay at home with them all day." It's not that I'm always unhappy, I'm just always looking for the next great thing that will bring me happiness instead of living in the moment. I also have this problem that I think everyone else has a glamorous, lovely, and stable life while I am barely keeping my head above the water.

Take today for example. I had to drive out to another school this afternoon for an ESL class I'm taking (on a side note- teachers should not be required to take a class from 4-7:00 every Thursday night that also gives a ton of pointless homework.) It was a really cute, brand new, super nice school. As I drove up I thought, "I bet the faculty here always get along and never have any problems. I bet they don't have parents calling all the time and demanding that their son or daughter needs to be in the advanced math class. I bet the teachers here get all of their work done at school and enjoy a lovely night at home relaxing instead of grading papers and planning lessons. I bet there are only 15 kids per class at this school, and I'm sure the students are very polite and sweet, and they always listen when their teacher is talking. I'm sure there is no pressure on the teachers here to perform well on end-of-year testing. I bet they don't ever have stressful faculty meetings, and they never have new math or reading adoptions to get used to. And, I'm positive they don't have to do DMI training."

Not joking, that really all went through my head, and in only about 20 seconds. Luckily, after those 20 seconds I decided to take a step back. Maybe it was a nice school, and maybe there are some things there that are better/easier than Canyon Crest. But, I'm sure this school also has its challenges. I bet some of the teachers at this school would pull up to C.C. and create their own list of "I bets." My point is, it does absolutely no good for me to dream about how wonderful it is to teach at fancy, beautiful, new school because I am at Canyon Crest, and I love it. I need to remind myself every time the going gets tough that I do love it and I am happy where I am right now. I hate to think that I spend any time at all wishing I was doing something else because really all we have is this moment to enjoy. So, here is my resolution to you, my dear blog, that I am going to find something to appreciate every day. That I am going to love where I am and what I'm doing right now, because possibly I will never get the chance to do this again.

School Picture

On a spiritual note, here is a fabulous talk from last fall's General Conference. Apparently I didn't study it well enough to apply it to all aspects of my life, but tonight I have greater resolve to do so.

6 comments:

Lisa Michelle said...

Rach! I second your motion to appreciate life. Today, I appreciate honesty. (I lost my calculator and it was still there hours later!) You may be thinking, "Lisa, it's just a calculator." Rachel, clearly you've forgotten that I'm an accountant. Let's just say, if things hadn't worked out with Bryan, I probably would have married my hp 10BII. p.s. Today and everyday you post, I appreciate your blog. :)

Ashley said...

Good call! I find myself doing that quite often, but every once in a while I remember how much I do have and how much I love my life. I am grateful for baby laughs lately, however few and far between they may be.

Judi said...

Very thoughtful! Thanks for sharing. Today I am grateful for dictation machines...ha ha. I am dictating interviews for my brother's doctrinal thesis and I didn't have a dictation machine before so now having one is like heaven!

Shauna aka Big Chief Rain Dance Phillips said...

I agree... it's so easy to think that things will be better/easier later. Sister Samuelson gave a great talk about that last year at their devotional.

William & Tiffany Strong said...

You are so right. I take that for granted. I love Canyon Crest. It is my family, and yes I get upset, but it is just little things. Without CC I would have never met my husband, been involved with the Gibson's or have met you! Thank you for bring such a great friend, you are adorable! I love you! And thanks for the conference article, good choice!

Kirsten Sue said...

I feel the same way all the time. I hate it. I feel like I am just floating in the middle of life just waiting for it to start. Thanks for the post!